Breaking apart and together

Look! Our smiling faces! Appreciate them while you can! Although, as I was reminded by our pastor's sermon this Sunday, we should all be smiling more. These particular smiles are perched atop a bridge amid a cornfield maze during our jaunt up north.

Our week-long fall break was a much needed reprieve. After going for 10 weeks (that's the same as if it were Thanksgiving if you started after Labor Day) we needed room to breathe and relax, not just escape. We took up residence at my grandparents' house, where it was lovely to not be the adultiest adults around :) Someone made my bed?! Someone made me breakfast?! Someone made me hot chocolate?!

Family and friends back in Michigan reminded me of the importance of support and community. And that I am loved and love a lot of people. They're just not here. But I think too often I let my school persona take over my life; I let who my students think I am (and who they shape me into being) be who I am. As I told a friend, it was almost a shock to here someone call me, "Anneke." I hardly ever hear that. To students I'm "Ms. Vander Haak." To colleagues I'm "Vander Haak." And living with only one other person, names aren't necessary much.

But who I am is a lot bigger that my life in room 123.

Here's to claiming back my life a bit this quarter -



Two moments from break that touched my soul:

Monday morning my grandparents took us to the Japanese garden at Meijer Gardens. And I teared up a bit - combination of homesickness, perspective, and rest. I need to get out in nature more.

Perhaps paradoxically, another moment that gave me some resolve and strength was with another teenager, a past student. We went out two afternoons, and among the many other comments, laughs, and large piles of food, she told me two things that stuck with me - 1) "It's not you; it's them. You know that, right?" [I know I could be a better teacher, but my failings as a teacher don't make me a bad person. And somehow I believe it more coming from a studentish person.] 2) "You changed my perspective on school. You showed me that teachers care."

Here's to sticking it out to show more students that I care -
Here's to remembering why we are here -

Anneke