Vander, No Haak

"Hey, you be careful!" the woman called out the open window of her truck as she drove up next to me. "Memphis is crazy! I'm sure I'm not the first to tell you. You watch yourself!"

I was driving home (well, first to Chick-fil-A) at 7:30 on a Friday after grading for 3 hours. David's off at a wedding in Texas, and I just wanted to get some work done.

So I was finally relaxing (well, partially contemplating the parents I was going to have to call to inform them of their child's detention at 6:30 in the morning), windows rolled down (it's been excitingly cool lately!), when the lady called out to me.

Honestly, first when she called out to me, I had a moment of panic where I thought I was somehow driving incorrectly. I conclude that she was well-meaning. But it makes me think, do I have a giant glowing sign stuck to my forehead? Or does driving a bug, wearing a skirt out of the 50s, and being white, 22, and female, just chock me up as naive?

Given that my voice is going from yelling (not angry yelling, just an attempt to be heard), I feel surprisingly optimistic.

Some highlights from the journal entries I spent 3 hours grading...

If you could change one school rule, what would you pick and why?

• "I would like to change the rule on tucking in shirts. It makes me feel as if my body is being pulled down as my back is hunched to keep it from untucking. It hurts my back yo!"
• "I think the school should change the rule on tucking in your shirt. I feel like it's completely unnecessary that you have to tuck in your shirt. It can be a waste of time to do because, if you need to get to class and you need to tuck in your shirt, you can end up being late for class. I feel also very angry when it's hot, and you have to keep your shirt tucked in (which makes it hotter)."

What is something you have learned so far?

• "I learned about poverty. I also learned about word play."
• "So far I have learned to open my mind and think outside the box."
• "I have learned how to work well with others."
• "I've learned more vocabulary to use like countenance and meticulous. The meticulously girl lost her homework so she countenancely looked for it."

What is something that helped you or that you enjoyed?

• I have enjoyed just English and Ms. Vandy in general."
• "I love that we have discussions like today. They are fun and everyone gets to discuss their opinions on whatever the topic."
• "Today was kinda fun."
• "I've enjoyed that participating takes a big part."
• "You shouldn't trust everyone."
• "I learned so far that English is fun."

What is something I could change to help you more?

• "You shouldn't have to change anything."
• "Could change by giving notes."
• "Stop ALL These Journal Entry!!!"
• "Well we could start by getting rid of some people."
• "There is nothing that you could do but what you are doing because you already helped me."
• "Talk more to me."
• "Stop me from talking a lot."

Anything else you'd like to tell me?

• "Hi!"
• "I like your class."
• "No not really."
• "I'm a very smart student I just talk a lot."
• "Nothing much but thank you for the help!"
• "Nothing at all because it is good."

Reading journals...

• "So far Mr. Bingley is getting to know the girls independently. He doesn't want them to turn against each other. The mom doesn't care about anything but the man's money. She really doesn't care about her daughters happiness sadly."

So, after that obviously very biased account of my teaching (although the "thank you" came from a boy whom I had given a morning detention to after he skipped afternoon detention twice, and then he sent me a rather rude email, so I was surprised at his turnaround) - all I can say is that I walked the halls after school today with one thought beating through me: I LOVE MY STUDENTS.

Even the ones who talk too much. 

And maybe even the ones who throw paper balls. 

When they're not together.

And the students whom I supervised eating wings in my room at lunch. And left sauce on the desks. 

The students who have already read 400 pages. And those who have read 2.

The students from whom I have confiscated a growing pile of pencils with which they slap each other.

Even that boy who told me today that I hated him (after I called him out for talking out of turn). I pointed out that I didn't hate him. Actually, I thought he was pretty funny (I broke out laughing in the middle of class when he followed up his chant of "Kool Aid, no sugar, fried chicken, no potatoes," with "Vander, no Haak"), and if we were friends, I would really like him. But as I am his teacher, he can't talk that much. To which another boy said, "But we are your friends!"

I love all my students.

P.S. Sometimes I feel like I'm 15 all over again, and sometimes I feel like I'm 50 already.