Throughout school people always said, "Don't worry about grades. Your grades now have nothing to do with your future success." I thought, "Oh no! Getting good grades is the only thing I'm good at!"
Throughout college people always said, "Don't worry if you don't know what you want to do yet. God will lead you. You can explore different things." I thought, "Is something wrong with me that I've known what I wanted to do for ten years? Am I limiting God's plan?"
Now I read blogs or articles or statuses from my peers in their early- to mid-twenties, and I still feel like I don't fit. I got married straight out of college and started my "real career," as one of my friends put it recently, by which I took it she meant the career I intend on retiring from. I'm not in grad school; I'm not doing some cool internship in Latin American.
It seems my whole life I have fit the traditional mold in a way that everyone is trying to tell you you don't need to fit, and so I have ended up not fitting.
I love being married, I love teaching [sometimes], but occasionally I feel like I missed being young - as in, something has to be wrong with either me or them, and I know too many of "them" to think they're irresponsible. But how do I feel so much responsibility already?
Part of it is being a teacher. Four years out of high school, I am responsible for high schoolers - "I need my medication." "I'm going to throw up." "Boy Z just pushed a pencil into my hand; can you take out the sliver?" "Can you warm up my sandwich?" "He pushed me!" "Someone stole my lemonade!" + the daily knowledge that I am responsible. In a fire, I am responsible for getting them out of the building. In a lockdown, I am responsible for getting them silent and against the wall. When they are too loud, I am responsible. When they fight, I am responsible. When someone's sister died, and he just ran out of class, and girl Y in the back is yelling at girl Q for hitting her with a book, and boy P needs a pencil, and girl T is about to throw up, and girl R lost her homework again, and no one is actually doing their work (yes, at the same time), I am responsible. When a girl runs out crying because another student is presenting about cars, and her boyfriend is in a coma from a car accident, and I can't find her in any of the bathrooms, I am responsible.
I read somewhere recently about how part of being a grownup is realizing that grownups don't call themselves that. But sometimes I just think, "When did I become this grownup?" There's no middle ground - someone was responsible for me, and now I am responsible for all of you!
Being a teacher is part being an actor - pretending to be this big firm adult. I think as you age, you have to pretend less because 1) you are actually adultier and 2) you look adultier, so you don't have to act so as much. The other day I accidentally called a student "dude." I apologized, but I don't think she had noticed. And of course, the daily battles of not laughing at the insulting or inappropriate jokes. And not telling anyone to shut up.
And here I wasn't going to talk about my job in this post!
I guess sometimes I just start to feel alone in doing what I thought was like...the appropriate path? And I'm just standing here being like, where is everyone else?
In college, we were all in college, majoring in different things, sure, but still in college. And now everyone is doing such different things, and not just different things, but in different...ways?
Snow day tomorrow! So here I am, up late (10:40, mock if you must), drinking my hot cocoa (with whipped cream from my fancy creamer), pondering over the state of things.
Sweet dreams,
Anneke
Thursday, January 21, 2016
Friday, January 15, 2016
[ ]
Sometimes, when it gets to be so much
and I want to cry from looking into your tired eyes
and I lost the girl whose boyfriend is in a coma
and the boy whose 12-year-old sister just died
or the girl who cussed and ran out
and I don't even know why
or a boy is crying in front of me
and I can't fix it
when I just want to hug
but sometimes touching incites
when you push up a sleeve and see death carved in red
when another girl is gone to a center for a week or two
when the anger bubbles out
and the cussing
the pushing
the breaking
comes
and punishing the behavior won't do anything
when he writes me a letter
when she tells me what happened when she was five
when you worry that calling home might cause abuse
when you watch the video and there's a gun slung around
and go home to hear gunshots outside your window
when you wonder how long the yelling is going to go on
when the kids laugh at fighting
when you buy school supplies
because mama just can't fit a notebook in right now
when you can never count on Internet
when she writes her influential person essay about her grandma
gives it to her grandma on her birthday
and two months later, grandma dies
when grandma's picture is still on her binder
when it starts to seem like everybody's brother has died
and a journal about "I'll never forget" that you imagined ending with birthday parties ends with gunshots and death
a memoir reveals running across the border and worries about death
when it starts to seem like death is lingering in the corner
but everyone still cuts each other down
when you hold the shaking girl
when you force down the food
when you hold her so she can't throw up
when he tells you there's no food at home
when it all blurs together:
Facebook threats
scars
pride
bright eyes
tired eyes
wet eyes
all that's left is silence.
and I want to cry from looking into your tired eyes
and I lost the girl whose boyfriend is in a coma
and the boy whose 12-year-old sister just died
or the girl who cussed and ran out
and I don't even know why
or a boy is crying in front of me
and I can't fix it
when I just want to hug
but sometimes touching incites
when you push up a sleeve and see death carved in red
when another girl is gone to a center for a week or two
when the anger bubbles out
and the cussing
the pushing
the breaking
comes
and punishing the behavior won't do anything
when he writes me a letter
when she tells me what happened when she was five
when you worry that calling home might cause abuse
when you watch the video and there's a gun slung around
and go home to hear gunshots outside your window
when you wonder how long the yelling is going to go on
when the kids laugh at fighting
when you buy school supplies
because mama just can't fit a notebook in right now
when you can never count on Internet
when she writes her influential person essay about her grandma
gives it to her grandma on her birthday
and two months later, grandma dies
when grandma's picture is still on her binder
when it starts to seem like everybody's brother has died
and a journal about "I'll never forget" that you imagined ending with birthday parties ends with gunshots and death
a memoir reveals running across the border and worries about death
when it starts to seem like death is lingering in the corner
but everyone still cuts each other down
when you hold the shaking girl
when you force down the food
when you hold her so she can't throw up
when he tells you there's no food at home
when it all blurs together:
Facebook threats
scars
pride
bright eyes
tired eyes
wet eyes
all that's left is silence.
Sunday, January 10, 2016
For a lifetime
With all of the hubbub about state tests, sometimes I begin to forget that ultimately, I want my students to think critically and become lifelong readers and writers who engage with the people and world around them. I came back to that a little this week, with starting up third quarter independent reading ("We have to do that again? I thought we were done with that last semester!") and implementing daily journaling, with weekly blogging.
Over the Christmas holiday I bought more used YA novels to expand my classroom library, from which most of my students' independent books come. Mostly I bought a pile of Nicholas Sparks and Walter Dean Meyers. I introduced them, and my stack of new finds was gone by the end of the day (only 2 books were left for the 3rd class), with students fighting over who got some of them. I introduced The Host as a book by the same woman who wrote the Twilight series and an alien-invasion romance in which the aliens control your mind. A boy picked up on "alien invasion" and claimed it. Not saying boys can't like romance, but I don't think this book is what he is bargaining for.... Him, along with the boy who wrote in his journal that he chose The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy became he liked the movie. (If you've read and seen both, you'll understand why that's a terrible idea.)
Then the students mobbed around the bookshelf where I keep my library. "You don't have any books that I like," a student complained. "What kind of books do you like?" I asked. "Mysteries," he said, so I showed him House Rules, telling him it was about a teenage boy accused of murder. He and another girl got so excited about it that they are now sharing the book, and the girl is trying to get another copy.
I switched the Do Now to silent journaling for the first 5 minutes of class (thanks to my donors!), and so far, it's working wonders. For the most part, they actually sit there and journal silently! Starting the class peacefully is a life saver for me, and I think it rubs off on the rest of class for the students, too, since they have been forced to quiet down and engage for 5 minutes.
Friday I started student blogs, where I'm hoping they can expand one of their journal entries every week, and read and respond to their classmates'. You can see my class blog at msvanderhaak.edublogs.org. There's a list of student blogs on the lefthand side, but they're password-protected. So, for a taste...
"I'll never forget the taste of chocolate. I'll never forget the color of your eyes. I'll never forget what it is to be Mexican. I'll never forget the day i sang to you. I"ll never forget what it was to be 10 years old. I''ll never forget my name...."
"I'll never forget my mom's birthday and favorite color. I'll never forget the time I got to go to Nashville Shores with my childhood friends. I'll never forget the first time I got to hold my baby cousin. I'll never forget losing my cousin to gun violence. I'll never forget losing my granny to cancer. I'll never forget the first time I seen a snake...."
"I'll never forget my first love. I'll never forget my 15th birthday party. I'll never forget [name]. I'll never forget my first credit card. I'll never forget my dad. I'll never forget I am a child of GOD...."
"Well if I could go anywhere when I wanted it will be Mexico because I will be able to see my family again. It will be our first time seeing each other. I will go to the fair and the beach also. We will go and eat some Mexican food like tacos and some other things. We will go to some other places like the stores and buy things that see needs. It will make me happy to go and see her because she is very sick...."
"If I could take a road trip, I would go to Italy by myself maybe. I would go alone to get away and explore. I would eat their pizzas and pasta. I would like to shop and meet new people."
"If I could take a road trip anywhere, I would go to Mexico. Despite being of Mexican descent, I have never been to Mexico. I would like to know the place where my parent grew up in better. It would cool to see the cultural differences that it has compared to the US. I could also try foods that my mother doesn't know how to make, which would be an amazing experience. That's why I would go to Mexico...."
"If I had a personal robot it would be called Mrs. Pat. Mrs. Pat would be my best friend and my servant. She would help me out with my kids, help me cook, clean, and do my work for my job. She would go shopping with me and she would get to do whatever she want. She would look like a real human. She would be mixed with all races...."
"My robot servant would like Rihanna, and it will sing all of my favorite songs made by her. It will cook only meats and soul food. And read me bedtime stories as a singing tone till I completely fall asleep and well fed."
"My robot will always go shopping with me. She is going to be my best friend. It would have magic super powers that let her pick out gorgeous clothes for me. She would be able to fix me any type of food I want to eat. I will never have to pay for food again...."
***
In Sunday school this morning we talked about different types of love, one of them being covenant love, which "binds us to another person because God has commanded us to love" (Aaron 45). The writer expands, "In covenant love we love those who do not deserve love, who do not reciprocate our love.... In practicing covenant love we may have to act lovingly until we begin to feel love or even if we never feel love as an emotion" (45). That was a good reminder for me to love my students first. And that I don't need to feel guilty if I don't FEEL love for all of them all the time.
***
Then during the service, my 4-year-old biggest fan crawled under 5 pews to sit by me. Before proceeding to lick my lyric sheet. Love in all forms.
***
This past week we watched The Great British Baking Show, which is a fantastic show that I just want to live inside (or maybe just move to Britain). I think it inspired David a little, because yesterday he made pizza and bread, and this morning he made eggs Benedict. I'm contemplating trying some bread of my own this afternoon, but we did score some Christmas sale chocolates, so tea is already covered....
All in all, I would say that life is getting better! At least this week was better. Break reminded me that I do have loving support network and things I like to do, and that I am a real person outside of my job. This week seemed to allow a little space for that still, plus some of David and my New Year's resolutions to live a little more. So far, that's mostly translated into food, going out for Indian Friday night, working at Starbucks Saturday morning, and going to crepes Saturday afternoon. But we were out of our apartment so much! Yay us. And we're only 22. We're going to be really fun by the time we hit 30!
Now we have a jigsaw puzzle half completed (thanks Mom and Dad!), a dropped Phase 10 game out (25% off for teachers at Barnes and Noble this week!), my current novel The Ocean at the End of the Lane sits beside me, and visions of chocolates and bread are dancing in my head...along with the possibility of dragging David out for a walk in the brisk sunshine. Here's to a lovely Sunday afternoon.
Shalom,
Anneke
P.S. I'm adding some photos of our break at the end here (credit to Bette, Brian, Brandon, Caitlin, and Thomas) for anyone who hasn't seen them on Facebook - here are our smiling (and not so smiling)
faces!
Seattle, by Pike Place Market, with the Christopher
One of many many large meals out with the Vander Haaks (thanks for all the food)
David on Tony the reindeer
Photos of this break would not be complete without Guinness and Prudence
One of many delightful teas in Portland
Top of Multnomah Falls
More tea
My dearest darling - love to Beetlejuice and back <3
Over the Christmas holiday I bought more used YA novels to expand my classroom library, from which most of my students' independent books come. Mostly I bought a pile of Nicholas Sparks and Walter Dean Meyers. I introduced them, and my stack of new finds was gone by the end of the day (only 2 books were left for the 3rd class), with students fighting over who got some of them. I introduced The Host as a book by the same woman who wrote the Twilight series and an alien-invasion romance in which the aliens control your mind. A boy picked up on "alien invasion" and claimed it. Not saying boys can't like romance, but I don't think this book is what he is bargaining for.... Him, along with the boy who wrote in his journal that he chose The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy became he liked the movie. (If you've read and seen both, you'll understand why that's a terrible idea.)
Then the students mobbed around the bookshelf where I keep my library. "You don't have any books that I like," a student complained. "What kind of books do you like?" I asked. "Mysteries," he said, so I showed him House Rules, telling him it was about a teenage boy accused of murder. He and another girl got so excited about it that they are now sharing the book, and the girl is trying to get another copy.
I switched the Do Now to silent journaling for the first 5 minutes of class (thanks to my donors!), and so far, it's working wonders. For the most part, they actually sit there and journal silently! Starting the class peacefully is a life saver for me, and I think it rubs off on the rest of class for the students, too, since they have been forced to quiet down and engage for 5 minutes.
Friday I started student blogs, where I'm hoping they can expand one of their journal entries every week, and read and respond to their classmates'. You can see my class blog at msvanderhaak.edublogs.org. There's a list of student blogs on the lefthand side, but they're password-protected. So, for a taste...
"I'll never forget the taste of chocolate. I'll never forget the color of your eyes. I'll never forget what it is to be Mexican. I'll never forget the day i sang to you. I"ll never forget what it was to be 10 years old. I''ll never forget my name...."
"I'll never forget my mom's birthday and favorite color. I'll never forget the time I got to go to Nashville Shores with my childhood friends. I'll never forget the first time I got to hold my baby cousin. I'll never forget losing my cousin to gun violence. I'll never forget losing my granny to cancer. I'll never forget the first time I seen a snake...."
"I'll never forget my first love. I'll never forget my 15th birthday party. I'll never forget [name]. I'll never forget my first credit card. I'll never forget my dad. I'll never forget I am a child of GOD...."
"Well if I could go anywhere when I wanted it will be Mexico because I will be able to see my family again. It will be our first time seeing each other. I will go to the fair and the beach also. We will go and eat some Mexican food like tacos and some other things. We will go to some other places like the stores and buy things that see needs. It will make me happy to go and see her because she is very sick...."
"If I could take a road trip, I would go to Italy by myself maybe. I would go alone to get away and explore. I would eat their pizzas and pasta. I would like to shop and meet new people."
"If I could take a road trip anywhere, I would go to Mexico. Despite being of Mexican descent, I have never been to Mexico. I would like to know the place where my parent grew up in better. It would cool to see the cultural differences that it has compared to the US. I could also try foods that my mother doesn't know how to make, which would be an amazing experience. That's why I would go to Mexico...."
"If I had a personal robot it would be called Mrs. Pat. Mrs. Pat would be my best friend and my servant. She would help me out with my kids, help me cook, clean, and do my work for my job. She would go shopping with me and she would get to do whatever she want. She would look like a real human. She would be mixed with all races...."
"My robot servant would like Rihanna, and it will sing all of my favorite songs made by her. It will cook only meats and soul food. And read me bedtime stories as a singing tone till I completely fall asleep and well fed."
"My robot will always go shopping with me. She is going to be my best friend. It would have magic super powers that let her pick out gorgeous clothes for me. She would be able to fix me any type of food I want to eat. I will never have to pay for food again...."
***
In Sunday school this morning we talked about different types of love, one of them being covenant love, which "binds us to another person because God has commanded us to love" (Aaron 45). The writer expands, "In covenant love we love those who do not deserve love, who do not reciprocate our love.... In practicing covenant love we may have to act lovingly until we begin to feel love or even if we never feel love as an emotion" (45). That was a good reminder for me to love my students first. And that I don't need to feel guilty if I don't FEEL love for all of them all the time.
***
Then during the service, my 4-year-old biggest fan crawled under 5 pews to sit by me. Before proceeding to lick my lyric sheet. Love in all forms.
***
This past week we watched The Great British Baking Show, which is a fantastic show that I just want to live inside (or maybe just move to Britain). I think it inspired David a little, because yesterday he made pizza and bread, and this morning he made eggs Benedict. I'm contemplating trying some bread of my own this afternoon, but we did score some Christmas sale chocolates, so tea is already covered....
All in all, I would say that life is getting better! At least this week was better. Break reminded me that I do have loving support network and things I like to do, and that I am a real person outside of my job. This week seemed to allow a little space for that still, plus some of David and my New Year's resolutions to live a little more. So far, that's mostly translated into food, going out for Indian Friday night, working at Starbucks Saturday morning, and going to crepes Saturday afternoon. But we were out of our apartment so much! Yay us. And we're only 22. We're going to be really fun by the time we hit 30!
Now we have a jigsaw puzzle half completed (thanks Mom and Dad!), a dropped Phase 10 game out (25% off for teachers at Barnes and Noble this week!), my current novel The Ocean at the End of the Lane sits beside me, and visions of chocolates and bread are dancing in my head...along with the possibility of dragging David out for a walk in the brisk sunshine. Here's to a lovely Sunday afternoon.
Shalom,
Anneke
P.S. I'm adding some photos of our break at the end here (credit to Bette, Brian, Brandon, Caitlin, and Thomas) for anyone who hasn't seen them on Facebook - here are our smiling (and not so smiling)
faces!
Seattle, by Pike Place Market, with the Christopher
One of many many large meals out with the Vander Haaks (thanks for all the food)
David on Tony the reindeer
Photos of this break would not be complete without Guinness and Prudence
One of many delightful teas in Portland
Top of Multnomah FallsMore tea
My dearest darling - love to Beetlejuice and back <3
Friday, December 18, 2015
Semester 1 complete
We finished our first semester today. It has to get easier, right? Well, for anyways, we are free for 2 weeks. I made sure we are free for 2 weeks by staying until 4:00 even though we could have left at 1:00. That really overjoyed David. It even made sure we were there at 3:00 when the fire alarm went off, and all the other staff were gone, so it fell to me to coordinate with the fire fighters and the electricians. (No fire, just faulty wires. I felt weirdly authoritative, though, greeting the fire truck. Authoritative mixed with ridiculous, since sometimes people think I'm in high school myself.)
Tonight we watched Me and Earl and the Dying Girl, a movie based on a book that I got an advanced copy of from an English professor giving away books. The book was mostly hilarious and a little touching. The movie was mostly touching and a little hilarious. Which has now put me in this odd mood. Which is why I decided to blog on my first free night.
There's this scene in the movie where the protagonist Greg gets in a fight with another kid in the cafeteria, and all the kids gather around, and some of them get out their phones to film. That reminded me of Tuesday morning in my class, where the kids were gushing with news of a fight the night before between a classmate and a kid in another class. The classmate kid wasn't in school that day. Didn't want to show his face. And all the other kids were upset no one had filmed the fight.
Next day he ate lunch in David's room.
Yesterday he ate lunch in my room.
Today he skipped (along with half the students).
I don't think all teenagers are terrible. There are some very sweet kids in that class. And the kid with the black eye is not somehow morally superior. But why do we do this? Are we terrible or just shallow?
Of course, yesterday the same kid hid under a table to avoid talking to a girl who thinks she's dating him, but he's not interested in. One moment I was talking to him, and the next he was just under the table. Ah, high school intrigue. Apparently he's tried to text her to tell her he's not into her, but she didn't get the message, so he was trying to get other students to go tell her for him.
So anyways, now I'm lying under this giant pile of blankets, because for some unknown reason we won't heat our apartment above 50. Next to me there's a pile of Ferrero Rochers and Ferrero Rocher wrappers, because there were boxes of the chocolates in the gift bags we got from school today. The most classic other item in the gift bag was an MSE combination bottle opener, measuring tape, and flashlight. I can now add that to my collection of MSE-logoified items of a sweatshirt, mug, and toiletry travel bag. At this point David would want me to point out that he already found a use for the mystery tool in measuring some distance on his classroom wall to hang his periodic table.
In babysitting duty this morning (half day) I led the kids in playing spoons and handed out donuts, and when we finished, as I bribed some kids to clean up with more donuts, they blasted music and danced around. And then tried to boycott moving into their next class by blocking the door with desks so I couldn't make them leave.
Earlier this week a girl told me, "Yours is the only class I look forward to every day." Make the other 79 students worth it?
Also earlier this week, I told this kid to sit down and do his work, and he cussed at me, so I wrote him up, and he got a suspension. My old roommate asked if my kids had done anything especially funny or bad today, so I relayed this story, and she texted back something sad, a broken heart, and asked if I was okay. It was sweet of her, but the point of this story is that I kind of laughed at that text, because while being appropriate to how I may have reacted last year, now it demonstrates how I've changed, a result of how my surroundings have changed. Something like that simply cannot upset you, or you're doomed.
That was a bit rambly, eh? Reflections on life so far, I suppose. But now it's Christmas! I've been looking forward to this for so long, and of course now it's here, it doesn't seem real. But oh, it needs to be. And the beauty of life is that it is. Or the beauty of God.
Sometimes you feel things so deeply you don't know how to say it. That's when some people paint or go running. Maybe that's when I blog. So I have no idea what I'm really trying to say here. Except maybe love. Which sounds, of course, trite. But every deepness goes back to love.
I am constantly astounded both by the depth and shallowness of my students, moment by moment. I suppose that's the paradox of being a teenager.
Merry Christmas to all, with much love,
Anneke
Tonight we watched Me and Earl and the Dying Girl, a movie based on a book that I got an advanced copy of from an English professor giving away books. The book was mostly hilarious and a little touching. The movie was mostly touching and a little hilarious. Which has now put me in this odd mood. Which is why I decided to blog on my first free night.
There's this scene in the movie where the protagonist Greg gets in a fight with another kid in the cafeteria, and all the kids gather around, and some of them get out their phones to film. That reminded me of Tuesday morning in my class, where the kids were gushing with news of a fight the night before between a classmate and a kid in another class. The classmate kid wasn't in school that day. Didn't want to show his face. And all the other kids were upset no one had filmed the fight.
Next day he ate lunch in David's room.
Yesterday he ate lunch in my room.
Today he skipped (along with half the students).
I don't think all teenagers are terrible. There are some very sweet kids in that class. And the kid with the black eye is not somehow morally superior. But why do we do this? Are we terrible or just shallow?
Of course, yesterday the same kid hid under a table to avoid talking to a girl who thinks she's dating him, but he's not interested in. One moment I was talking to him, and the next he was just under the table. Ah, high school intrigue. Apparently he's tried to text her to tell her he's not into her, but she didn't get the message, so he was trying to get other students to go tell her for him.
So anyways, now I'm lying under this giant pile of blankets, because for some unknown reason we won't heat our apartment above 50. Next to me there's a pile of Ferrero Rochers and Ferrero Rocher wrappers, because there were boxes of the chocolates in the gift bags we got from school today. The most classic other item in the gift bag was an MSE combination bottle opener, measuring tape, and flashlight. I can now add that to my collection of MSE-logoified items of a sweatshirt, mug, and toiletry travel bag. At this point David would want me to point out that he already found a use for the mystery tool in measuring some distance on his classroom wall to hang his periodic table.
In babysitting duty this morning (half day) I led the kids in playing spoons and handed out donuts, and when we finished, as I bribed some kids to clean up with more donuts, they blasted music and danced around. And then tried to boycott moving into their next class by blocking the door with desks so I couldn't make them leave.
Earlier this week a girl told me, "Yours is the only class I look forward to every day." Make the other 79 students worth it?
Also earlier this week, I told this kid to sit down and do his work, and he cussed at me, so I wrote him up, and he got a suspension. My old roommate asked if my kids had done anything especially funny or bad today, so I relayed this story, and she texted back something sad, a broken heart, and asked if I was okay. It was sweet of her, but the point of this story is that I kind of laughed at that text, because while being appropriate to how I may have reacted last year, now it demonstrates how I've changed, a result of how my surroundings have changed. Something like that simply cannot upset you, or you're doomed.
That was a bit rambly, eh? Reflections on life so far, I suppose. But now it's Christmas! I've been looking forward to this for so long, and of course now it's here, it doesn't seem real. But oh, it needs to be. And the beauty of life is that it is. Or the beauty of God.
Sometimes you feel things so deeply you don't know how to say it. That's when some people paint or go running. Maybe that's when I blog. So I have no idea what I'm really trying to say here. Except maybe love. Which sounds, of course, trite. But every deepness goes back to love.
I am constantly astounded both by the depth and shallowness of my students, moment by moment. I suppose that's the paradox of being a teenager.
Merry Christmas to all, with much love,
Anneke
Sunday, December 6, 2015
Gaining our voices
In the 3 weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas, we have a short unit on speeches in sophomore English. The unit is called "Gaining a Voice." Our focus questions are 1) What can a voice achieve? 2) How should I use my voice? and 3) What does silence mean? Below are student journal responses.
What can a voice achieve?
"A voice can achieve a lot of things in life. Martin Luther King Jr. had a voice and he basically ended segregation. If you speak up and say everything that you think, people would like you or will hate you but you'll always be true to yourself. A voice is basically everything about you in life. Without a voice, how are people going to feel what to say?"
"A voice can achieve anything. Just like Obama achieved to be the 1st black president. A voice can achieve a better life. A voice can achieve anything in life."
"A voice can achieve great things like changing the mind of a bad person, giving speeches, and more. Martin Luther King Jr. achieved great things and achievements with his voice. He changed many people about their kind and give hope to his kind. A voice also solved many problems like arguments between countries, conflicts between people who hate each other. A voice also makes historic announcements like the boycott of Alabama. A voice can achieve many great things and also solve small and huge problems without violence."
"A voice can achieve many great things. It can make someone do something or stop doing something. It can make you seem brave when you're really terrified inside. It can be used to express deep feelings. It also could just make someone's day better."
How should I use my voice?
"I should use my voice to speak clearly. I should use it to change. I should use it to save and change the future."
"People should use their voices to stand up for what they believe in, to fight for equality and peace, and last but not least use your voice to stop bullying. For what you believe in can cause you to not be afraid of anything; it's your voice so use it to fight for your beliefs. You use your voice to make everybody feel loved and equal. Lastly, use your voice to stop bullying; doing this one thing, using your voice can prevent heartache, pain, and feeling left out/lonely."
"I should use my voice to help better this world and help people. I should use my voice to stand up for people who don't speak for themselves. I should use my voice to enlighten situations no one talks about. My voice can help myself and everyone else. My voice can also hurt me if I use the wrong words of choice. 1. Speak up for homeless people in Africa. 2. Use my voice to help people whose families are affected by cops. 3. Speak up for homeless people without clothes or food."
"I should use my voice to represent a happy tone. It shouldn't be filled with bad words, because it's not right. I should use my voice as a voice for young people, and for African American girls everywhere."
"When using my voice I always try to speak clearly for the people to understand. I use my voice for respect and for standing up for what's right. I use my voice to defend the children and the people I care about."
What does silence mean?
"Silence shows more action than words do. Because it expresses the words that you can't express just using words. It shows more emotion than words do."
"Silence is when there is no sound heard or made by any person, animal, or object. It is the absence of any form of audible sound. There are lots of people in the world that are facing world problems like domestic, physical, verbal, child, and even animal abuse, yet many of them live in silence because they are either afraid or ashamed."
"Silence can mean many things, some people are naturally quiet. A lot of people speak less, but in cases, some are afraid to open their mouth and speak up. In some reasons silence is good, some people can just sit in silence and still have a full conversation with each other. I guess silence is kind of mysterious."
"Silence is the absence of sound. It is the only true peace. Silence cannot be heard, nor seen, yet everyone understands what it is. It is the one thing everyone wants, but no one can handle. Silence makes mad men happy, and it makes happy men mad."
---
I have no idea what I'm doing with my life, but for now my voice is in my classroom here in Memphis. My complete silence would probably get me fired, so not really an option, but what I chose to address and what I choose to let go everyday is my choice. May I choose my battles and stands well. May we all.
Happy Advent!
Anneke
What can a voice achieve?
"A voice can achieve a lot of things in life. Martin Luther King Jr. had a voice and he basically ended segregation. If you speak up and say everything that you think, people would like you or will hate you but you'll always be true to yourself. A voice is basically everything about you in life. Without a voice, how are people going to feel what to say?"
"A voice can achieve anything. Just like Obama achieved to be the 1st black president. A voice can achieve a better life. A voice can achieve anything in life."
"A voice can achieve great things like changing the mind of a bad person, giving speeches, and more. Martin Luther King Jr. achieved great things and achievements with his voice. He changed many people about their kind and give hope to his kind. A voice also solved many problems like arguments between countries, conflicts between people who hate each other. A voice also makes historic announcements like the boycott of Alabama. A voice can achieve many great things and also solve small and huge problems without violence."
"A voice can achieve many great things. It can make someone do something or stop doing something. It can make you seem brave when you're really terrified inside. It can be used to express deep feelings. It also could just make someone's day better."
How should I use my voice?
"I should use my voice to speak clearly. I should use it to change. I should use it to save and change the future."
"People should use their voices to stand up for what they believe in, to fight for equality and peace, and last but not least use your voice to stop bullying. For what you believe in can cause you to not be afraid of anything; it's your voice so use it to fight for your beliefs. You use your voice to make everybody feel loved and equal. Lastly, use your voice to stop bullying; doing this one thing, using your voice can prevent heartache, pain, and feeling left out/lonely."
"I should use my voice to help better this world and help people. I should use my voice to stand up for people who don't speak for themselves. I should use my voice to enlighten situations no one talks about. My voice can help myself and everyone else. My voice can also hurt me if I use the wrong words of choice. 1. Speak up for homeless people in Africa. 2. Use my voice to help people whose families are affected by cops. 3. Speak up for homeless people without clothes or food."
"I should use my voice to represent a happy tone. It shouldn't be filled with bad words, because it's not right. I should use my voice as a voice for young people, and for African American girls everywhere."
"When using my voice I always try to speak clearly for the people to understand. I use my voice for respect and for standing up for what's right. I use my voice to defend the children and the people I care about."
What does silence mean?
"Silence shows more action than words do. Because it expresses the words that you can't express just using words. It shows more emotion than words do."
"Silence is when there is no sound heard or made by any person, animal, or object. It is the absence of any form of audible sound. There are lots of people in the world that are facing world problems like domestic, physical, verbal, child, and even animal abuse, yet many of them live in silence because they are either afraid or ashamed."
"Silence can mean many things, some people are naturally quiet. A lot of people speak less, but in cases, some are afraid to open their mouth and speak up. In some reasons silence is good, some people can just sit in silence and still have a full conversation with each other. I guess silence is kind of mysterious."
"Silence is the absence of sound. It is the only true peace. Silence cannot be heard, nor seen, yet everyone understands what it is. It is the one thing everyone wants, but no one can handle. Silence makes mad men happy, and it makes happy men mad."
---
I have no idea what I'm doing with my life, but for now my voice is in my classroom here in Memphis. My complete silence would probably get me fired, so not really an option, but what I chose to address and what I choose to let go everyday is my choice. May I choose my battles and stands well. May we all.
Happy Advent!
Anneke
Thursday, November 26, 2015
Thank you
Happy Thanksgiving! Now that I have recovered from the feast enough that I no longer wish to throw up (yes, I know you all wanted to know that), here are 100 people/things I am thankful for:
1.
God, for hope
beyond all and love despite all
2.
David, for your
constancy, being in this with me, breakfast in bed, and Netflix binges
3.
Netflix
4.
Chick-fil-A
5.
Chick-fil-A
sauce
6.
Health insurance
(love that “cost: $0.00”)
7.
Modern medicine
(what did people do for headaches before?!)
8.
Pumpkin pie
9.
Brian, for your
music suggestions and encouragements
10.
Bette, for
surprise packages at just the right moment
11.
Caitlin, for afternoon
phone calls and unwavering belief
12.
Andrew, for
comic relief
13.
Jonathan, for
your honesty
14.
Abby, for your
thoughtful notes and questions
15.
Caitlin Marie,
for your optimism
16.
Kaitlyn
Elizabeth, for your hugs
17.
Anderson, for
making me laugh at it all and laughing with me
18.
Tijunae, for
giving me hope for all of us
19.
David S., for
offering to beat up misbehaving students
20.
Grandma W., for
your warmth
21.
Grandpa W., for
your little comments that say it all
22.
Grandma E., for
looking after me
23.
Grandpa E., for your
anecdotes
24.
Mom, for being
my mentor
25.
Dad, for Skyping
me in the middle of your work day when I was having bad day
26.
Caroline, for being
so dependable
27.
Sophia, for
looking deep
28.
Lauren, for doing
everything that needs doing
29.
Joshua, for
always being so happy to see me
30.
Sam, for
noticing when I was feeling better and entertaining my many questions
31.
Mikki, for encouragement,
hugs, and talking about books
32.
Erv, for showing
YouTube videos in Sunday school
33.
Donuts at church
34.
Capleville, for
lengthy greetings
35.
Millbrook, for
taking us back in
36.
AP & TH, for
coming when I’m about to lose my mind
37.
Wolfgangs, for
having pancakes that put dessert to shame
38.
Squash
39.
Butter
40.
Brown sugar
41.
Highways
42.
GPSs
43.
Sweet potatoes
44.
Ice cream
45.
Trees
46.
Mary Oliver
47.
J.K. Rowling
48.
Mitch Albom
49.
Paulo Coelho
50.
E.E. Cummings
51.
Used book shops
52.
Chocolate
53.
Tea
54.
Pillows
55.
Heated car seats
56.
Warm water
57.
Happy socks
58.
Popcorn
59.
Erasers
60.
Snow on pine trees
61.
Snow on bare
branches
62.
ZL, for
always greeting me
63.
BG, for
always asking about my weekend
64.
LK, for
trying
65.
SH, for your
comments that say everything I’m not allowed to say
66.
LW, for being
brilliant
67.
AH, for your
curiosity and persistence
68.
JJ and
KH, for quietly doing everything I ask
69.
ER, for your
pursuit of excellence
70.
Apples
71.
Peanut butter
72.
Public libraries
73.
ET, for that
look on your face when you accidentally drop kicked a pen into my back
74.
Billy, for your
care and hugs
75.
Christopher, for
all the beautiful nature pictures your post on Instagram
76.
Hanten
77.
Photographs
78.
Laughter
(especially when the alternative is crying)
79.
Perspective
80.
Flowers
81.
Earthworms
82.
Crossword
puzzles
83.
Frozen yogurt
(excuse for the toppings)
84.
Gibson’s Donuts
85.
Soy sauce
86.
Kale
87.
Hairdressers,
for pampering me
88.
Life
89.
Health
90.
Ferrous sulfate
91.
Whipped cream
92.
Teapots
93.
DW, for
fixing my computer and pencil sharpener (every time)
94.
DC, for
fixing my stapler
95.
Dishwashers
96.
The ocean
97.
Lotion
98.
Electricity
99.
Automatic
billing
100. Comfortable shoes
100. Comfortable shoes
(Mostly that helped to make me thankful, so congratulations if you made it all the way through!)
Off to boil another cup of tea now -
Love and thanks to all,
Anneke
Sunday, November 8, 2015
Bird houses and Halloween candy
This past week Thursday all the sophomores took the ACT Plan test (like the PSAT). I was assigned to administer the test to the more...boisterous class of 10th graders. After taking over an hour to bubble ("Are you interested, not interested, or slightly interested in learning how to build a bird house?" + 70 other items and etc.), we settled into 2 hours of silence.
Yes, silence. You read that correctly. Apparently, when things reach a certain level, they can take them seriously. But that's not what I'm here to say.
When I got past the mind-boggling boredom of walking around a room watching students take standardized tests in silence for 2 hours, or perhaps because of that boredom, as I reflected on the situation, watching my students take the test, this feeling rose up inside of me.
Fondness.
I know that that doesn't really make any sense, but in that moment I felt fondness for my generally most troublesome class (this would be the class that I write about, for example, throwing crackers at me). They were doing what they were supposed to do, I felt like I was being a real teacher, and they asked me questions as if they needed me.
So the beauty of being a teacher touched me this week in the most unexpected situation. I realized that I am involved in the lives of all of these students. I am their teacher, whether they like me or not, and I am here to guide them and support them. In what other profession do you get to form relationships with so many seemingly random people? Public education - it serves anyone. There are no requirements past being a certain age and living in the city. And that makes our shared humanity seem so real.
Then of course, the next day in the same class, I was forced to dictate notes to a student to write on the board so that I could view the entire class at once, because that is the only way to prevent them from throwing things at each other. (Earlier in the week a girl got hit in the face with a jawbreaker and required ice. Week after Halloween ups the ante in the throwing wars.)
And then I got to leave the classroom to hang out with a friend and eat Chinese food and, for the first time, go to a drive-in theater, where we munched 90% off Halloween candy and snuggled in blankets against the cold. And now here I am Sunday night again, after we watched the entire first season of How to Get Away with Murder on Netflix yesterday and today, blogging, and feeling Monday morning creeping up on me. But maybe one more dish of ice cream first.
Side note on the throwing wars of the boisterous sophomores: One day this week one of the students from the boisterous class was in my calmer sophomore class during break, and he asked me which of the sections was better behaved. At first I thought he was joking, but he kept asking, so I said, "Well, this class never had paper and toilet paper throwing wars in my class, they don't start dance parties in the corners of my room, and they don't get up and run around the room yelling."
"Oh," he said, "Well...we don't do that that often! Only like...once a day!"
On an even less related side note that connects in terms of a lack of concept of numbers, today the children's message at church was about giving. The speaker started by asking if the children would rather find a dollar or a penny on the ground, and then why. "I would rather find a dollar," one boy said, "because it's a lot more. A dollar is like FOUR pennies." At this point someone must have whispered to him the truth, because after a pause he shouted, "A hundred pennies! Oh my God!"
Cheers,
Anneke
Yes, silence. You read that correctly. Apparently, when things reach a certain level, they can take them seriously. But that's not what I'm here to say.
When I got past the mind-boggling boredom of walking around a room watching students take standardized tests in silence for 2 hours, or perhaps because of that boredom, as I reflected on the situation, watching my students take the test, this feeling rose up inside of me.
Fondness.
I know that that doesn't really make any sense, but in that moment I felt fondness for my generally most troublesome class (this would be the class that I write about, for example, throwing crackers at me). They were doing what they were supposed to do, I felt like I was being a real teacher, and they asked me questions as if they needed me.
So the beauty of being a teacher touched me this week in the most unexpected situation. I realized that I am involved in the lives of all of these students. I am their teacher, whether they like me or not, and I am here to guide them and support them. In what other profession do you get to form relationships with so many seemingly random people? Public education - it serves anyone. There are no requirements past being a certain age and living in the city. And that makes our shared humanity seem so real.
Then of course, the next day in the same class, I was forced to dictate notes to a student to write on the board so that I could view the entire class at once, because that is the only way to prevent them from throwing things at each other. (Earlier in the week a girl got hit in the face with a jawbreaker and required ice. Week after Halloween ups the ante in the throwing wars.)
And then I got to leave the classroom to hang out with a friend and eat Chinese food and, for the first time, go to a drive-in theater, where we munched 90% off Halloween candy and snuggled in blankets against the cold. And now here I am Sunday night again, after we watched the entire first season of How to Get Away with Murder on Netflix yesterday and today, blogging, and feeling Monday morning creeping up on me. But maybe one more dish of ice cream first.
Side note on the throwing wars of the boisterous sophomores: One day this week one of the students from the boisterous class was in my calmer sophomore class during break, and he asked me which of the sections was better behaved. At first I thought he was joking, but he kept asking, so I said, "Well, this class never had paper and toilet paper throwing wars in my class, they don't start dance parties in the corners of my room, and they don't get up and run around the room yelling."
"Oh," he said, "Well...we don't do that that often! Only like...once a day!"
On an even less related side note that connects in terms of a lack of concept of numbers, today the children's message at church was about giving. The speaker started by asking if the children would rather find a dollar or a penny on the ground, and then why. "I would rather find a dollar," one boy said, "because it's a lot more. A dollar is like FOUR pennies." At this point someone must have whispered to him the truth, because after a pause he shouted, "A hundred pennies! Oh my God!"
Cheers,
Anneke
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