The light at the end of the tunnel

I'm experiencing this new thing lately in which I actually enjoy my job and thereby my life!

I enjoyed teacher aiding. I enjoyed student teaching. During student teaching, I was actually a little sad when spring break came, because I wasn't going to get to see my dear students for over a week! My goodness, was that perspective switched last year.

But I'm here to tell all first year teachers: THERE IS HOPE.

So, with no further ado, here are just a few of reasons I love my job this year:

• because a student said, "Coming to your class and reading The Glass Castle is my favorite part of the day"
• because one of my students finished his first independent reading book in one day and asked me, "Do I have to start rereading the same book tomorrow?"
• because several other students have also already enthusiastically finished their first choice books
• because so many students wanted to share their books with their classmates that I had to cut them off because we were running out of time
• because I might have actually created, along with my students, a culture of reading, or at least 60% of one
• because one of my students from last year came to me and asked to borrow a book from my classroom library
• because my students make me love The Glass Castle again with their laughter and shouted responses when I read it aloud, even when I've already read it six times, and so we create our experience of the book together
• because 100% of the students in one of my sections turned in their homework on time this week
• because I regularly get hugs from a couple of the girls I taught last year
• because I get to ask questions like, "What are you most afraid of?" and then read deeply personal journal entries, and that's a perfectly normal part of class
• because a student asked me, "Is being a teacher fun?" and I could honestly say, "Most of the time." "So you would recommend it?" "Definitely." "Good, because I was thinking of being a teacher."
• because I've only picked up 3 pieces of trash off the floor in 3 weeks
• because none of those pieces of trash have been broken pencils
• because the canister of 8 pencils I put out at the beginning of the year still has pencils in it
• because when I explained my pencil borrowing system on the first day, a student asked, "Are we allowed to bring in pencils to contribute to the class supply?"
• because I can turn and write on the board and not be worried students will attack each other or throw crackers at me behind my back
• because I can tell students to do something, or take away Gatorade they shouldn't have in class, or order them into the hallway for a discussion on why they were yelling across the room, and they actually do what I say, without a gallon of attitude! sighs, yes, eye rolling, yes, but you know what? they do it! (maybe I have actual authority!)
• because I called home for the students who scored above level on the reading test, and one boy told me, "Thank you for taking the time to call my mom. She said that she wished she was better at English, so that she would have more opportunities. I appreciate you taking the time to do that. It means a lot to me." 
• because I got to have a discussion with the same boy about applying for scholarships so he can go to college because he's BRILLIANT
• because I get the chance to challenge, support, inspire, and believe in 56 teenagers every day

In short, I feel like a real teacher this year. I feel like I'm actually teaching and in control of my classroom at least, say, 90% of the time. And my students are actually doing their work and actually learning things! Not perfectly, no - a lot of them still need to learn personal responsibility and all that, and conjunctive adverbs might need some polishing, but we're working on it. Because I get to work on things like that with teenagers! I get to work on actually helping people have better lives and be better people so they can help other people. On my good days, I try to do that.

So for any first year teachers, when you're unable to fall asleep because you're panicking about school in the morning, or your legs start breaking out in hives due to stress, or you're getting pelted with crackers, or you're crawling on your hands and knees picking up pencil halves, or you're just completely miserable and defeated and feeling as if you're ruining children's lives - keep going. Keep going. Keep going. The light at the end of the tunnel isn't a fast approaching train. It's year 2. (But you can always come cry in my room if you need a good vent.)

Full of love, not the less because a tiny and adorable new person has recently expanded my capacity for love,

Anneke