Friday, October 30, 2015

Sophomore "sonnets": chicken and cheese and other loves

We're currently reading A Midsummer Night's Dream in 10th grade English. Today we looked at sonnets and then attempted to write some of our own. Here are a few of the results...

For starters, my personal favorite:

Chicken is good to me
Greasy legs that I love
Feel like I'm a chicken
So good that I feel like a dove
O, chicken chicken
Better than fruits
O, chicken chicken
Love chicken better than Fruity Pebbles
O chicken
So good
O chicken
Make me pop the hood
Yum o yum
Yum


A more serious take:

As the air grows colder and colder,
The leaves of trees turn from green to red
The colors tell you they are getting older
It just tells me the will soon be dead
From yellow to orange to brown
Seeing the leaves change is stunning
But, it's a shame to see them fall to the ground
But, this means money will be running
Animals gather for the cold.
Grass stops growing and turns brown.
And colorful flowers no longer mold.
The cute little birds no longer make a sound
Thus autumn is just like a stage of life.
Thus, let's enjoy before we die by knife.


More of the 75% of the "sonnets" about food:

Fried cheese is the best
It's so delicious and crunchy
It was hard to finish the rest
But mmmmm! munchy munch munchy
So yellow and hot
Just ready to be eaten
I mean, how could you not?
That cheese just has to be beaten
Obviously I love to eat cheese
I don't know who wouldn't
I always ask for more and end my question with please!
But Mom said I couldn't
Come join the cheese gang
It'll hit your stomach with a bang

(We had some trouble coming up with rhymes for "crunchy" on that one.)


Some commentary on my assignment (and perhaps classroom discipline):

It is hard to write a poem
There are different steps you have to take
You could write about a totem
Or write about someone with a rake
You also have to make sure it rhymes
It has 14 lines in it
It doesn't have to take a long time
And that you sit
There can be tons of things in it
You can write about love
And would be good if you have a lot of wit
Or you can write about a dove
Whatever you write about it
Make sure it doesn't make someone want to spit


Some more prettiness:

The sky is so big and vast
And wide like the ocean blue
It has been this way since way in the past
So this phenomenon is nothing new
It changes color with the time of day
From blue, to red, to pink, to black
From dusk to dawn it carries on this way
And every time it changes back
The sky is a wondrous thing
It has many hidden mysteries
The sky surrounds the Earth like a ring.
It's one of the amazing commodities.
The sky is forever a part of the Earth,
It has been here way before human birth.


I think this one gave up on the volta:

I have to go to school
to get my education
It's not really that cool
but I don't want a bad reputation
I have to get my books
grab all my pencils
my head is going into loops
I'm going to use all my utensils
I have to get my diploma
Graduate with all A's and B's
I want to be a better persona
Then take a picture and say cheese!
Boom Boom
The end! <3

(I tried to tell her that "books" and "loops" don't rhyme. Apparently she didn't take to that.)


This one strikes me as a rap:

Money is the option
Success is the key
To travel to the islands and tropics
And see the sea
Hustle is the way
Move in my pace
Striving for the Great
Leaving my trace
My goals are set
I have to reach them
I accomplished the best
Reaching the rim
Striving for Great
Stay out of my way.


And some more ambition:

I have hopes and dreams
I hope one day to do big things
But it doesn't include a team
That includes earning a wedding ring
Males these days only want to be pleased
My mom say you don't need nobody
They consider money as cheese'd
Cuz every guy want a gurl that's pretty
Maybe love isn't worth my time
I look to the future for my love
It seem to everybody falling in love is a crime
I hope to dream just because
To me I don't really care.
I just hope one day somebody there


A more traditional subject:

Loving you was honestly hard
You really had my heart
Buying me things like cards
At a little mart
But you played me like a deck of cards
My friends were really right about you
Kinda like the king of hearts
You played me like a foo'
Being together was amazing
I knew it wouldn't last long
Kinda blazing
But here's my song
Things are different now
I finally found my vow


I think this young man took my divisions between the sections to heart a little too much:

I watched the game.
The player scored off the board.
The game was lame.
At the end their mascot roared.
I love eating ham
I also like eating chips
But I love grape jam.
And taco dip
My mom makes me do chores
I like going outside
Her favorite class is choir
Their mouths are very
My brother is very tall
He also likes to play basketball

(Or perhaps that is what happens when you overly fixate on rhyme.)


And now, some life reflection to send everyone off:

The life we live,
The decisions we make
The love we give
The collisions we take
Our choices do not define us
The actions we choose to take
The noises all around us
The reactions we make
If you have regret
Life is not a game
The way we met
Life can sometimes be a shame
Respect is earned not given
This heartful text I'm sending


Cheers,
Anneke




Sunday, October 25, 2015

Choice

This week, like every week, was composed of good and bad. But I think (and perhaps this is the perspective I can only have on Sunday nights) that the thing is to choose to see the good. To choose to trust. To choose to have hope.

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'" - Mary Anne Radmacher

If that is not the story of all life, it is at least the story of my life right now.

Yesterday (Saturday) was our second all-day TFA conference. The conferences are a combination of pep rally and professional development. After the August conference, I was annoyed I had lost a Saturday, but I felt refocused on why I was here, and like I had learned some valuable things. The conference yesterday just depressed me.

The first session I went to was about how to lead class discussions. And I thought, "I know how to do this. I know how to be a good teacher. I just can't manage kids." I know how it should look. I know what should be going on. I know what I would do in the ideal world. I just can't seem to make that happen. And I also know that this piles up to a bunch of useless excuses.

I went to a session on management, and basically came away with that I need to be more consistent, and I need to have teacher presence - but I don't know how to do that, or maybe I've just given up on it. And I know that in that I am failing children.

I think that I know how to be the teacher in a school like in that where I was a student. Or in such a culture. I don't know if I don't know how to be a good manager here, or it just hurts my soul too much (because it still feels mean to me). And I think part of me isn't 100% sure I have the authority to be bossing teenagers around.

So end of yesterday, I was pretty down. I felt like I was failing kids by failing to manage them, but that I didn't even really WANT to manage them. I just wanted it all to go away.

But this is where faith comes in.

I have faith that I am here for a reason.
I have faith that that reason is not to screw up children.
I have faith that God works everything for the good of those who know and love Him.
I have faith that my work is not in vain.
I have faith that I can keep getting a little better everyday.
I have faith that my God will sustain me day-to-day.

For as run-down as I have felt at the end of some days, when I am at my lowest, the next day is always a little bit better.

Like the day I gave half of my juniors detention for messing around and not working, and they threatened to complain to the principal (although I'm sure if you asked them, they'd rationalize their position a lot more). I cried that night. I cried the next morning in the car on the way to school. I was convinced I was going to walk into a class of hate. Yet it seemed like they'd forgotten.

Other moments of hope:

- The day before fall break, the young man whom I have given by far the most detentions to told me that English is his favorite class because we always do something fun.

- A sophomore knew what "acme" and "nadir" meant.

- In 10th grade we are reading A Midsummer Night's Dream. Tuesday I had the kids do some research about Shakespeare. Thursday we read the first scene with the mechanicals, and one of the laborers is protesting having to play a woman. "Who acted in plays in Shakespeare's time?" I asked the class. "Women!" most students called back. They actually learned something!

- A bunch of old ladies hugged me at church today.

- In 11th grade we read Hawthorne's short story "The Minister's Black Veil." I asked the students to come up with a modern parallel of when we judge someone by how they dress/groom. Students came up with things from burkas to haircuts.

"He loved her, of course, but better than that, he chose her, day after day. Choice: that was the thing." - Sherman Alexie

Here's to choosing hope -
Anneke

Monday, October 19, 2015

Breaking apart and together


Look! Our smiling faces! Appreciate them while you can! Although, as I was reminded by our pastor's sermon this Sunday, we should all be smiling more. These particular smiles are perched atop a bridge amid a cornfield maze during our jaunt up north.

Our week-long fall break was a much needed reprieve. After going for 10 weeks (that's the same as if it were Thanksgiving if you started after Labor Day) we needed room to breathe and relax, not just escape. We took up residence at my grandparents' house, where it was lovely to not be the adultiest adults around :) Someone made my bed?! Someone made me breakfast?! Someone made me hot chocolate?!

Family and friends back in Michigan reminded me of the importance of support and community. And that I am loved and love a lot of people. They're just not here. But I think too often I let my school persona take over my life; I let who my students think I am (and who they shape me into being) be who I am. As I told a friend, it was almost a shock to here someone call me, "Anneke." I hardly ever hear that. To students I'm "Ms. Vander Haak." To colleagues I'm "Vander Haak." And living with only one other person, names aren't necessary much.

But who I am is a lot bigger that my life in room 123.

Here's to claiming back my life a bit this quarter -



Two moments from break that touched my soul:

Monday morning my grandparents took us to the Japanese garden at Meijer Gardens. And I teared up a bit - combination of homesickness, perspective, and rest. I need to get out in nature more.

Perhaps paradoxically, another moment that gave me some resolve and strength was with another teenager, a past student. We went out two afternoons, and among the many other comments, laughs, and large piles of food, she told me two things that stuck with me - 1) "It's not you; it's them. You know that, right?" [I know I could be a better teacher, but my failings as a teacher don't make me a bad person. And somehow I believe it more coming from a studentish person.] 2) "You changed my perspective on school. You showed me that teachers care."

Here's to sticking it out to show more students that I care -
Here's to remembering why we are here -

Anneke







Saturday, October 3, 2015

From crackers to volleyball

Last week Friday, an unidentified student in one of my classes threw crackers at my back whenever I turned to write on the board.

This week Friday, the same class attempted to play hide-and-go-seek and have dance parties in the back corners.

But you know what? Somehow I am feeling better about life. Not that I wasn't a sobbing mess Wednesday, wallowing in self-pity. But Thursday was better. And Friday was fine. And I made it to the weekend. One more week until fall break and we head up north!

Thursday afternoon, 7th and 8th periods, the high school had "free play," meaning volleyball and basketball in the gym, various activities outside, concessions, games, etc. Instead of getting me out of any class, this took over my planning periods, which originally kind of annoyed me. I mean, instead of getting work done, I had to stand and watch teenagers--the same teenagers who generally seemed to feel animosity towards me. For the first hour, I was stationed inside, watching the games table. A bit boring. But the second hour, someone took over the games table, and I wandered outside.

Outside, I discovered another world. Yes, we were standing in a parking lot. But there was a bit of woods on the other side, and the weather had turned lovely overnight--the sun shone through the leaves, and the wind blew pleasantly. Students stood and ran around laughing. It was beautiful to just STAND there. And then one of my students pulled me into playing volleyball on her team. And I had FUN. WITH MY STUDENTS. DOING SOMETHING BESIDES SCHOOL. Maybe they don't hate me; they just hate school.

Earlier that same day I actually had a student THANK ME. For giving her a handout with all the vocabulary words and definitions. And the next day, the same girl told me she had used the Quizlet I had set up to study at home! And she felt good about the upcoming test!

Friday my classes typed up their essays and peer reviewed. I gave them a form, with spots for 2 reviewers, each listing 2 things "you did really well" and 2 things "you could make even better." Therein lay my mistake. The tenth graders wrote memoirs, so a few girls misinterpreted the second question, giving me responses like

"You could stop putting a lot of trust in people."

and

"You could have beat her up! LOL!"


And now, for some other student work (this week, more of the thoughtful and less humorous variety):


After reading The Glass Castle...

Q: Is the Walls family a good or bad family?

A: There's no such thing as a good or bad family. Every family has a different personality, a different mindset, a different way of living. Some families believe in tough love. Give you obstacles that challenge you to get you ready for the real world. Some families believe in the easy way for their children so: 'My kids will have everything I didn't have when I was younger.' Parent who's willing to basically fight every obstacle their child has! Some families might think their way of living or acting is good; others might think it's sad. Everyone has a reason behind the way their family is.


After reading part of Kaffir Boy...

Q: What scene was most memorable? Why?

A: The scene when the woman explains her dead son [he is stabbed after joining a gang]. It's memorable because events like this happen in America to African American males.

Q: How does the voice of Ms. Walls in The Glass Castle compare to the voice of Mr. Mathabane?

A: Their voice is very different. Ms. Walls' was more soft and innocent in the beginning and turned into understanding towards the end, the boy's voice was aggressive in the beginning and compassionate at the end.

A: They both have crazy parents that kind of affect their life in a bad way. Yet they have some kind of love in the story.

A: The fathers in both stories are both reckless and don't care about nobody else but themselves.

A: The voices have a similar tone on how somebody tried to ruin their life and that someone always wanted them to be better.

A: I think they're the same because they both are striving to do better, and achieve more than what their parents were doing. Both authors want to live a better life; whether it's to make their parents happy or themselves.


After looking at the American ideal of freedom all quarter...

Q: What is one way you are free?

A: Ways I think I am free is that I get the opportunity to go to school every day. Even though I don't appreciate it as I should. Some kids don't get the opportunity to go to school when they want to. Another reason is that I get the chance to see my family every day I wake up.


Today is another beautiful fall day. We made it through the summer I thought would never end. Off to get donuts and coffee before a spot of grading and planning! Maybe we'll even go to a park, now that it's possible to exist outside without sweating (I slept in a sweatshirt last night!).

Love to all,
Anneke